A priest had a small flock of chickens, but the prize rooster went missing, and he didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next Sunday he queried:
"Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no, I mean has anybody seen a cock?"
All the women stood up.
"No, no, I mean has anybody seen my cock?"
All the nuns stood up!
Once there was this city boy who wanted to go country, so he headed out to a farm to buy some animals.
"I'll take one of these," he said to the farmer.
"What is it?"
Well, to me it's a cock, but to you it's a rooster," said the farmer.
"I'll take one of these, too," said the city boy.
"What is it?"
"Well, to me it's a pullet, but to you it's a chicken," replied the farmer.
"Okay," said the city boy. "And I'll take one of those, too, if you'll tell me what it is."
"To me it's an ass, but to you it's a mule," explained the farmer, "and when that ass gets stubborn, it sits down and you have to scratch its belly to get it moving again."
So the city boy set off down the road with all his new purchases. He was doing fine till a pretty girl drove by, at which point the ass sat down and refused to budge.
Seeing he as having some trouble, the girl backed up and more...
One day, a man went to a nearby farm to buy some of the animals that were for sale there.
He walked up to the farmer and said,"Hey, that's a nice donkey you got there. I think I'll take it."
The farmer replied,"That's not a donkey, that's an ass."
So, the man said,"Okay, then, I'll take the ass." Then he walked over to the chicken coup and said,"I like that chicken. I'll take it too."
The farmer replied,"That is a pullet."
So the man said,"Okay, I'll take the pullet."
He was looking at a rooster and said,"Well, I guess I'll take the rooster, too."
The farmer replied,"That's not a rooster, it's a cock."
So they load the pullet and the cock into the back of the man's truck and tie the ass to the back. The man then pays the farmer as the farmer tells him,"Now, sometimes the ass gets a little stubborn and he stops. All you have to do is get out and scratch his back, and more...
Down around the Texas-Louisiana border, there has been a recent rash of illegal cock fighting, with quite a bit of gambling. The director of the Louisiana State Police finally bent to public pressure and sent an investigator to get to the bottom of the problem.
The crack investigator, Boudreaux, took an unmarked cruiser and headed for Mamou. He was gone for two days and arrived back in Baton Rouge to report to the director.
He reported that there were three major groups involved in the illegal cock fighting - Texas Aggies, Cajuns and the Mafia.
Of course, the boss wanted to know how he surmised this, and he replied that he knew there were Texas Aggies involved when he saw someone enter a duck into the fight.
He knew that there were Cajuns involved when someone bet on the duck.
He then stated that he was absolutely positive that the Mafia was involved when the duck won!
They say "Once you go black, you never go back."
And that's only true if you're a woman, cause you like a ten inch cock. We don't like a ten inch pussy!
I think it should be "Once you go to China, you love the small vagina."