Cock Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning.
The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks."
"Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm."
"We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk."
"Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home."
"We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear."
So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops.
The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"

They say "Once you go black, you never go back."
And that's only true if you're a woman, cause you like a ten inch cock. We don't like a ten inch pussy!
I think it should be "Once you go to China, you love the small vagina."

Q: What did Michael Jackson say when his cock slid in the little boys arse? A: There is a great musician in you.

A buisnessman was driving down an old country road when his car broke
down. "No problem" he said, "I'll just walk to this nearby farmhouse."
When he finally arrives there he walks up to the house, upon walking he sees
a pin full of chickens and loses track of what he was going to do. When the farmer answers
the door, feeling stupid, the buisnessman asks the farmer
if he can by a chicken. "Sure" says the farmer, "just one thing, around here we call them
cocks" "OK i'll take a cock" says the man. Finallly remembering what he was supposed to do
he starts walking to another farmhouse. On the way there he sees a pin
of roosters, losing track of what he was doing again, he asks the farmer to
buy a rooster. "sure thing but aroung here we call them pullits", then the
man walks away with his cock and pullit in hand when he remembers what he set out to do.
Walking up to the third more...

Why does a cock always close his eyes when he's crowing?
Because he already knows the text!!

A farmer rears 25 young hens and one old cock. As the old cock could no longer handle his job efficiently, the farmer buys one young cock from the market and puts it in the pen with the old cock and the hens...
Old Cock: Welcome to the farm. We'll work together towards productivity.
Young Cock: Whattya mean? As far as I know, you are old and should be retired.
Old Cock: Young boy, there are 25 hens here, can't I help you with some?
Young Cock: No! Not even one, all of them will be mine.
Old Cock: In this case, I challenge you to a competition and, if I win, you let me have one hen. If I lose you have them all.
Young Cock: Okay. What kind of competition?
Old Cock: 50-yard dash. From here to that tree. But due to my age, I hope you allow me to start off the first 10 yards. Young Cock: No problem! We race tomorrow morning.
Confidently, the following morning, the Young Cock allows the Old Cock to start off and when the Old Cock crosses the 10-yard more...

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucketplease?"The assistant asked"Pardon sir?"."Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for hisbucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -"Can I have a cock please?" The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?". The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir." So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant andasked "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?". So he more...