Cock Jokes / Recent Jokes

Rubbit the Rabbit

Hot 3 years ago

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning.
The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks."
"Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm."
"We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk."
"Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home."
"We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear."
So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops.
The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning.The clerk says, "We don't call 'em roosters, we call 'em cocks.""Okay" the man says. "I'll take a cock and a rabbit for the farm." "We pronounce it rubbit says the clerk." "Okay, I'll take those two things and a mule to carry them home.""We don't call 'em mules, we call 'em asses and every time the ass stops walkin', just scratch behind his ear."So the man walks out of the store with the three animals. He's walking home when all of a sudden the mule stops.The man sees a lady passing by and asks, "Can you hold my cock and rubbit while I scratch my ass?"

A guy is in the pub toilet having a piss when the door to the bathroom opens. In walks a very large, very muscular guy. This guy proceeds to pull down his pants, revealing a very large penis.
To the man's amazement, the muscular guy growls and slams his penis into the sink attached to the wall. It shatters, spraying pieces and water everywhere. Next, the muscular man growls louder, and slams his penis into one of the stalls, making the entire thing collapse. Then he slams his penis into the wall of the room, knocking a very large hole into it.
The muscular man approaches the scared guy having a piss.
"Hey, mate, do you see this very large, very strong cock?" he asks.
"Yes," replies the guy taking a leak.
"Do you know what I am going to do with this very large, very strong cock?" the muscular man asks.
"No, I'm afraid I don't," says the first man.
"I'm going to shove it up your arse!" exclaims the muscular more...

A priest had lost his chiken and decided that he would bring it up at Sunday mass.
So in the middle of mass he gets up, walks up to the microphone and asks:
Has anyone seen a cock?
All the girls raise their hands
No, No, does anyone have a cock?
All the guys raise their hand
No, No, Has anyone seen my cock?
All the little boys in the church stand up

A Priest was in his room and realized that his rooster was missing. He decided to bring it up in Sunday Mass.
Right before the sermon the Priest asked, "Who has a cock?" All of the men inthe room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen a
cock?" All of the women in the room stood up.
The Priest said, "No, No, No. Who has seen MY COCK?" All of the nuns stood up.

Aman tells a woman (the blonde) to suck his cock so she goes and sucks on a chicken

An Irish priest in a small village near Donegal was fond of the chickens he kept in the hen house back of the parish. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster went missing and as that was the time he suspected cock fights occurred in the village he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.
At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?"
Almost immediately all the men stood up.
"Dear god, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"
Almost immediately all the women stood up.
"Almighty Father, NO NO,", he said. "That wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"
Almost immediately, half the women stood up.
"NO, NO, NO", he said. "That wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"
Immediately all the Nuns stood up...