Beans Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Once there were 3 guys, a Cuban, an American, and an Italian. So they worked together, and it was lunch time, so the American opens his lunch box and sees peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and he says, "If I get a peanut-butter jelly sandwich one more time I'm going to kill myself."
    Then the Italian opens his lunch box and sees spaghetti and he says, "If I get spaghetti one more time I'm going to kill myself."
    Lastly, the Cuban opens his lunch and sees black beans and he says, "If I get black beans one more time, I'm going to to do the same.
    The next day the all open their lunch boxes, and the Cuban sees black beans again, so he kills himself, then the Italian sees spaghetti again, so he kills himself also. Lastly, the American sees peanut-butter and jelly sandwich again so he kills himself too.
    Then, at the funeral, their wifes are talking and the American wife says "Oh..! he should at least told me about his lunch, that way he wouldn't more...

    Texas Chili Contest

    Hot 7 years ago

    Notes from an inexperienced chili tester named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
    Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The regular judge called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the two other judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have all the free beer I wanted during the chili tasting, so I accepted.
    Here are the scorecards from the event:
    CHILI #1: MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
    Judge #1: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
    Judge #2: Nice, smooth flavor. Very mild.
    Frank: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me 3 beers to put the flames out. I hope this is the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
    CHILI #2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
    Judge #1: Smoky, with more...

    Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
    He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
    on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
    would marry, he thought to himself, "She'll never go for me carrying on like
    that," so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after
    that they got married.
    A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they
    lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because
    he had to walk. On is way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma
    of baked beans overwhelmed him.
    Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill
    affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had
    three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he "putt-putted". more...

    Q: What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
    A: They are both used as substitute meat.

    Jelly beans

    Hot 3 years ago

    what can jelly beans do that you cant cum in different colors

  • Recent Activity