I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.
4 gay guys were sitting in a spa pool. suddenly a blub of semen floated to the surface of the spa pool..
one gay guy " who farted"?
Notes from an inexperienced chili tester named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the east coast:
Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The regular judge called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the two other judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have all the free beer I wanted during the chili tasting, so I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
CHILI #1: MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI
Judge #1: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge #2: Nice, smooth flavor. Very mild.
Frank: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me 3 beers to put the flames out. I hope this is the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
CHILI #2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge #1: Smoky, with more...
A guy with a donkey walked up to a psychic and asked about his future.
The psychic said, "when your donkey farts 3 times you will die."
So the man walked along with his donkey and the donkey farted.
The man said" Oh no donkey you mustn't fart again".
So they kept on walking and the donkey farted again.
The man said "I can't take another chance with this".
So the man then shoved a cork up the donkey's buttocks. Then the man felt relieved so they continued walking. The donkey farted yet again, sending the cork flying. The cork hit the man's head with such speed that he was killed instantly.
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a madding passion for Chile. He loved them, but he always has an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to it. Then one day, he met a young woman and fell in love with her. When evidently they would marry, he thought to himself, she is so sweet and gentle. She will never go for this kind of carrying on. Therefore, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up the chile. They married thereafter. Some months later, his car broke down on the way home from work and since they lived in the country, he called her and told her that he would be late getting home because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the odor of freshly cooked chile and corn bread was overwhelming.
Since he had several miles to walk, he figured that he would work off the effects before reaching home. Therefore, he stopped at the cafe. Before leaving the cafe, he had eaten three LARGE orders of chile with corn bread. All the way home he farted and more...