Briefcase Jokes / Recent Jokes

* While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
* Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.
* Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
* Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
* Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
* Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
* In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
* Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."
* As you follow your interviewer to his or her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh uncontrollably.
* Show up in your jogging outfit, run in more...

1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)
2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.
3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.
4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.
5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.
6. After you give them candy, hand more...

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery. Mr. Schwartz had the longest private part he had ever seen" "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz" said the mortician, "but I can't send youoff to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity." With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man'sschlong. He stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed it to was his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said, and opened up his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screamed. "Schwatrz is dead!"

A mortician was examining Mr. Zeron's body before sending it to be cremated. He discovered the longest private part he had ever seen on Zeron. He felt it a pity to cremate him with it, so, apologising to the corpse, the mortician used his tools to remove the tremendously huge private part.
The mortician stuffed the prize possesion into his briefcase and took it home to show his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said and opened his briefcase.
Upon seeing it, his wife cried, "Oh my God! Zeron is dead!"

A mortician was working late one night, examining bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Jenkins, who was about to be cremated, he made an astounding discovery... Mr. Jenkins had the longest penis he had ever seen!
"Sorry, buddy," the mortician said, "but I just can't send you to the crematorium with such a tremendously huge penis. It must be saved for posterity."
With that, the mortician used his tools to remove the dead man's member, stuffed his prize into his briefcase and took it home.
As his wife greeted him, he said, "Honey, I have something to show you that you aren't going to believe," and he opened his briefcase.
"Oh no!" she screamed. "Jenkins is dead... "

A lawyer and a doctor, each in their own cars, had a collision on a country road. Seeing the doctor was a little shaken up, the lawyer pulled a flask out of his briefcase and offered the doctor a drink. The doctor took a drink and handed the flask back to the lawyer. The lawyer closed it and returned it to his briefcase.
"Aren't you going to have a drink?" the doctor asked.
"I sure am, after the police leave." replied the lawyer.

A Sardar is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi. It's a busy day and our Sardarji is roughing it out, standing up in the aisle and all. In his right hand is his briefcase (which appears to contain some valuables), with his left he is grabbing on to the railing for dear life.

The conductor approaches him for a ticket. The Sardar who doesn't have a free hand to pull out his wallet gives the conductor a helpless look. The conductor reaches out for the Sardar's briefcase in an effort to help him out.

"nahin! tum upar pakdo" says the Sardar clutching onto his briefcase