Dressed Jokes

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Good girls wax their floors
Bad girls wax their bikini line

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
Bad girls know they could do it better

Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

Good girls pack their toothbrush
Bad girls pack their diaphragms

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

Good girls wear high heels to work
Bad girls wear high heels to bed

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

Good girls prefer the missionary position
Bad girls do too, but only for more...

The CEO of a Vacuum Cleaner company was impatient with the poor job his salespeople were doing, so one day he decided to do the job himself.
He pulled up to an old house in his Mercedes Benz and knocked on the door. A little old barefoot man wearing overalls answered the knock on the door, only to be confronted by the very well dressed and dignified CEO in a $2,000 navy blue pin-striped business suit, a Hermes silk tie, a starched white shirt with monogrammed cufflinks, $700 shoes polished like black mirrors, and carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said the well-dressed and impeccably groomed CEO. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Get lost, Mister fancy suit!" said the old man. "I haven't got any money" and he proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the CEO wedged his polished shoe in the door and pushed it wide more...

Three Muslims died and went to Heaven. When they approached the gate, St. Peter said "Sorry, only Christians are allowed in Heaven."
The Muslims said "But we are good Christians!"
St. Peter replied "Okay, if you're good Christians then tell me what is Easter?"
The first Muslim went up to St. Peter and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a white bunny suit and hopped around delivering eggs to children!"
St. Peter shook his head, and said "Next!"
The second Muslim guy then came up and said "I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man dressed up in a red and white suit and flied around delivering presents to good children!"
St. Peter sighed, and said "Next!"
So the last Muslim guy comes up to old St. Peter and says "Oh, I know! I'm a good Christian! Easter was when the Jesus man died on the cross for the people, and they buried more...

A wealthy and very well dressed financial consultant arrived at his office to fill out his report for the company he was working for.

The dapper, extremely confident and very dignified gentleman left his Porsche with the parking attendant and entered wearing the building wearing his designer business suit. His shoes clicked along the polished floor as he headed for the elevator.

He picked up the paperwork, and strutted into his well-furnished office, put down his fifteen hundred dollar briefcase and sat down at his desk. He stared at the questions for five minutes, and shook his head in disbelief. He looked again, and his shoulders dropped.

"I know I have no choice, but this is an OUTRAGE!" he said out loud.

Then with a sigh of embarrassment, he reached down, untied and pulled his feet out of his highly polished $800 Brooks Brothers cap toe dress shoes and then peeled off his black

1.You feel better about the relationship when you're not in her presence.
2.You wonder what all the fuss is about sex, anyways.
3.You're really bugged by the way she breathes.
4.As soon as she says she's going to bed, you suddenly feel wide awake.
5.She's taking you to see your favorite team, but you dont feel like getting dressed.
6.You escape to a romantic little island together and find yourself wishing there was more to do.
7.When she's flirting with another man at a party, you hope they hit it off.
8.When you make love, she thanks you.
9.Kissing starts to feel like a real waste of time.
10.You feel a pang if she turns off the TV before sex.
11.After a fight, the make-up sex is great--except you haven't really made up.
12.She refuses to consider couples therapy on the grounds that she doesn't have any problems.
13.You get dressed in the bathroom. With the door closed.
14.When you pick up the Sunday paper, instead of more...