911 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes


    Hot 2 weeks agoby Funny J

    A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
    The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
    The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

    Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

    Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

    Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

    Blonde: Yes.

    Operator: The power in the house in on?

    Blonde: Of course.

    Operator: And the switch is on?

    Blonde: Yes, yes.

    Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

    Blonde: No, it's working fine.

    Operator: Then what's the problem?

    Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

    Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash? - He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

    The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot. The horrified nurse said,' Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?'The lady said,' My phone doesn't have an eleven.'

    A 911 operator gets a call one evening but nobody says anything. Fearing the worst, the operator
    calls back, and a little boy answers the phone in whispering voice......
    [barely audible] Hello!
    (Operator) Hello little boy. Did you just call 911?
    [barely audible] "No!"
    (Operator) O. K., is your mommy home?
    [barely audible] "Yes."
    (Operator) Can I speak to her, please?
    [barely audible] "No."
    (Operator) "Why not?"
    [barely audible] "Because she's busy!"
    (Operator) "Oh, OK. Is your daddy home then?"
    [barely audible] "Yes."
    (Operator) "Well, can I speak to him?"
    [barely audible] "No!"
    (Operator) "Well, my goodness, why not?"
    [barely audible] "Because he's busy too!"
    (Operator) "OH, goodness! What's he busy doing?"
    [barely audible] "Talking to the police."
    (Operator) more...

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