Vibrator Jokes / Recent Jokes

As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.
Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing more...

What does an elephant use as a vibrator? An epilectic.

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter's bedroom When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week, the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time coming from the den. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him. "What are you doing?" She asked. He replied, "Watching more...

A 60-year-old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her
bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40-year-old daughter
playing with a vibrator.
"What are you doing?" asked the mother.
"Mom, I am 40 years old and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get
married
so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room,
shaking her head.
The next day, the father came home and heard noises in the bedroom and
upon entering the room, found his daughter using the vibrator.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.
His daughter replied, "I already told Mom. I'm 40 years old now and
ugly.
I will never get married so this
is as close as I'll ever get to a husband." The father walked out of
the room shaking his head.
The next day, the mother came home to find her husband with a beer in one
hand and the vibrator in the other, watching the more...

For several months, the local romeo had been trying to nail the blonde secretary who lived on his floor, but she always told him that she prefers her vibrator to men. Then, one night he ran into her in the hall and, as usual, asked her if she wanted to party.
To his surprise, this time she agreed and before he knew it, they were going at it in her apartment. While he was humping her, he said, "So Baby, isn't this better than your vibrator?"
To which she replied, "No. Its exactly the same. Your batteries must be dead, too."

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation."

"I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"

Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?"