Bedroom Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
    pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
    together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the
    woman to the lover, "into the Closet!" and she pushed him in the closet,
    stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
    of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
    "Who are you?" he asked him.
    "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.
    "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
    "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
    replied
    "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
    The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards... "

    Heart Attack?

    Hot 1 year ago

    A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.

    'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.

    He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.

    Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'

    Alternative Cybersex

    Hot 1 year ago

    This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
    Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
    Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

    What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

    Vegas!

    Hot 5 years ago

    A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase. He says, "What are you doing?"
    She answers, "I'm moving to Las Vegas. I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 for doing what I do for you for free!"
    Later that night on her way out the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
    When she asks him where he's going, he replies, "I'm going to Vegas too. I want to see you live on $800 a year!"

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