I was really angry when my mates got me an anal vibrator for my birthday.
I hated them for it, but now, I've put it behind me.....
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator??
A: "Why the hell are you shaking? She's gonna eat me!"
An obnoxious drunk in a bar keeps hitting on an a lesbian waiting for her date. The drunk just won't take no for an answer.
"Tell you what, I'll sleep with you if you can name one thing a man can do for me that my vibrator can't!" the lesbian smirks.
The obnoxious drunk thinks for a moment. "Okay, let's see your vibrator buy the next round of drinks!"
Effectively inducing an orgasm in a woman can be complicated, even with the assistance of machinery. I was using a vibrator on a girl one time and I figured applying the vibrator at full speed to her clit would get the job done, but no. Somehow, her clit managed to move around underneath, so I had to keep repositioning it. She was giving me directions the whole time: "up...left...left...down...right...up..." I felt as if I was playing Dance Dance Revagina...or Clitar Hero...or Hymen Simon.
As the woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within.
Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing?" The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said, "Dad, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone."
A couple days later, the wife came home from shopping trip, placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing more...