Terrorist Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Terrorist and PMS

    Hot 2 years ago

    What is the difference between a terrorist and a PMS woman?
    You can negotiate with the terrorist.

    Japanese Management

    Hot 3 years ago

    Four corporate presidents, one English, one French, one Japanese and one
    American, were on their way to an international business conference when
    they were kidnaped by terrorists and taken to a secret hideout.
    "You, your companies and your countries are enemies of the Revolution," screamed
    the terrorist leader, "and you're going to be executed! Do you have any last
    requests?"
    The Englishman spoke first.
    "Before I die, I want to honor my contry and protest this barbaric act by
    singing "God Save The Queen" to all your men."
    "That can be arranged," said the terrorist.
    The Frenchman said, "And I want to honor MY country before I die by singing
    "The Marseilles" to your men."
    The Japanese said, "Before I die, I wish to honor MY country by giving the
    lecture I was going to present on the Japanese style of industrial management."
    The terrorist turned finally more...

    Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus are captured by terrorists.
    They are brought up in front of a firing line. The head terrorist asks Billy Ray Cyrus for any last requests. To which Billy replies "Well, I sure would like to sing _Achy Breaky Heart_ jus' one more time!"
    The head terrorist says "fair enough".
    The head terrorist then asks Garth Brooks the same question. And Garth answers "shot me first!"

    I sometimes feel so bad about things that I wonder if I am sane. I see so many people acting so stupidly in the world, that what they do makes no sense. Maybe I'm the only sane person and everyone else is crazy! It seems like the world has gotten both stupider and nastier over the years, or at least the U.S. has.
    It is the asinine stupidity - and plain arrogance - of people that makes me sick. The District of Columbia is damn near so bankrupt it would be "30c short of a quarter." The Financial Control Board gave a timid order to Mayor-for-life Marion "Snort, Snort" Barry to cut 6,000 city employees.
    Washington is so obscenely overstaffed that the number of people that should be cut from its payroll is more like 60,000! This isn't cutting the payroll, this is giving it a manicure! People are practically calling this near-nothing cutback a "meat axe" approach!
    All the while the city goes deeper into red ink. I'm thinking, when the city does go more...

    Viola Joke

    Hot 2 years ago

    I'm not sure I'm using this right, but if I am, here's a whole bunch
    of viola jokes.
    What's the difference between a viola and a violin?
    A violin burns faster.
    Why is a violist like a terrorist?
    They both ** up bowings.
    What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
    Terrorists have sympathizers.
    What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?
    A dressmaker tucks up frills.
    What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
    You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
    A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and
    a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over
    to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house,
    killed your family, and burned it down." The violist replied, "You're
    kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
    A violist is sitting in the front row, crying hysterically. The more...

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