Retriever Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There's these three dogs sitting at a bar, a Chihuahua golden retriever, and a shepherd.

    A girl dog walks in, and said "The person who can use liver and cheese in a sentence I will marry."

    The golden retriever goes first. "I don't like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Then the shepherd goes next. "I like liver and cheese."

    "Not clever enough."

    Now the Chihuahua, "Liver her alone cheese mine!"

    by: larise

    Outrageous Vet Bill

    Hot 1 week ago

    A man, carrying a very limp dog, entered the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the vet took out his stethoscope and placed the receptor on the dog's chest.
    He listened for a moment or two, shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but your dog has passed away."
    "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't even done any tests on him. I demand a second opinion!"
    With that, the vet turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a Labrador Retriever. The Retriever went right to work and checked the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the Retriever sadly shook its head and barked.
    The vet then took the dog out and returned a few moments later with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table.
    As had his predecessors, the cat sadly shook its head, meowed, jumped off the table and ran out of the room.
    The vet handed the man a bill for $650. The more...

    Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.
    The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.
    The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.
    Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them "The first one who can use the words "liver" and "cheese" together in an imaginative, intelligent, sentence can go out with me."
    The sturdy, muscular, black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."
    "Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever"
    She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said, "How well can you do?"
    "Um. I HATE liver and cheese," more...

    For all you dog lovers out there, here are some of the lessor known breeds that are being bred in different parts of the United States,
    Crossbeed Dogs:
    Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
    Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
    Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
    Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
    Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
    Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists
    Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
    Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
    Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly
    Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
    Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
    Deerhound + more...

    Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
    Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.
    Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.
    Pekinese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.
    Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.
    Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists everywhere.
    Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.
    Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.
    Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, a dog that....oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway.
    Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
    Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.
    Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.

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