Pointer Jokes

On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me: A database with a broken b-tree
(what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Two transceiver failures
(CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Three French users
(who, of course, think they know everything) Two transceiver failures
(which are now spewing packets all over the net) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me: Four calls for support
(playing the same Christmas song over and over) Three French users
(Why do they like to argue so much over trival things?) Two transceiver failures
(How the hell do I know which ones they are?) And a database with a broken b-tree
(Pointer error? What a pointer error?)
On the more...

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.
Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long
counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something
like:
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
Type fast, think slow.
Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include
files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference
those include files.
Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
code. If they understand it, they don't need you.
Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary
in the world should be generated from the same sources.
Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always
hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't
need you.
Never code a function to return a value. more...

Collie + Lhasa Apso Collapso: a dog that folds up for easy transport
Spitz + Chow Chow Spitz-Chow: a dog that throws up a lot
Pointer + Setter Poinsettera: traditional Christmas pet
Malamute + Pointer Moot Point: owned by.... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund Pyradachs: a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso Peekasso: an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel Irish Springer: a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever Lab Coat Retriever: the choice of research scientists
Newfoundland + Basset Hound Newfound Asset Hound: a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog Terribull: a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador Blabador: a dog that barks incessantly
Collie + Malamute Commute: a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier Derriere: a dog that's true to the end
Bull Terrier + Shitzu Bull:. .. Oh, never mind

On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me
A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Three French users (who, of course, think they know everything)
Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all over the net)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me
Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over and over)
Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over trivial things?)
Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones they are?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What's a pointer error?)
On the fifth more...

Malamute x Pointer = Moot Point, favorites of lawyers but … it doesn’t seem to matter.
Bull Terrier x Shitzu = Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed.
Pointer x Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
Kerry Blue Terrier x Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.
Great Pyrenees x Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.
Pekingnese x Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.
Irish Water Spaniel x English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle.
Labrador Retriever x Curly Coated Retriever = Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland x Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.
Terrier x Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.
Bloodhound x Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.
Collie x Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Deerhound x Terrier = Derriere, a dog that’s true to the more...