Since Dehradun is not far from Punjab, many Punjabis sought admission to the D. A. V college, Dehradun (formerly in U. P. but now in Uttaranchal). However, since preference was given to boys and girls from U. P., outsiders were asked to state their length of residence in U. P., and attach their certificates. A boy from a Punjab village filled in his form and against the column' length of residence' wrote' 366 km.'
Another applicant filling details of his name, address, etc., wrote against the column,' born', the simple reply:' Yes.'
Santa Singh got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government. To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all his subordinates.
One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see if his boss was busy. Santa Singh noticed him and shouted, 'Why are you outstanding! Please income.'
Banta Singh happened to be in a queue at a railway
station ticket counter with two men ahead of him.
Ek Punjab Mail dena.` demanded the man in front.
He was given a ticket.
`Ek Punjab Mail dena.` the second man asked and was
handed a ticket.
Then came the turn of Banta Singh,
`Ek Punjab female dena!`
`What do u mean by Punjab female?` asked the clerk.
`It is for my wife` replied Banta Singh.
I am an older young uncle living only with myself in Lahore. Having seen
your advertisement for marriage purposes, I decided to press myself on
you and hope you will take me nicely. I am a soiled son from inside
Punjab. I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness, as because I am working hardly. I am playing
hardly also. Especially I like cricket and I am a good batter and I am a
fast baller. Whenever I come running in for balling, other batters start
running. Everybody is scared of my rapid balls that bounce alot.
I am very nice man. I am always laughing loudly at everyone. I am jolly.
I am gay. Especially ladies, they are saying I am nice and soft. I am
always giving respect to the ladies. I am always allowing ladies to get
on top. That is how nice I am. I am not having any bad habits. I am not
drinking and I am not sucking tobacco or anything else. more...
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a
point, "Oh.. we`ll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh
replied, "No problem! we`ll attack USA, it would
take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we`ll automatically get
developed." All the surds became happy at this very simple solution but
an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
wasn`t happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT`S ALRIGHT BUT... WHAT WOULD
HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA? ????"