'go back to africa, go back to india!'
'Nan shut up were at the zoo.'
Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...Udayan
Chota Miyan marries a naive young desi (country) londi (girl). On their Shaab-e-Aroosi (wedding night), he shows her his lund (penis) and tells her he's the only man to have such a thing.
Time passes by and after a few months, they are in bed one night when she grabs his organ & remarks, "You were lying when you told me you were the only man to have one of these. I've discovered that Ravana-Lingam from the Shudra Mohalla (neighbourhood) also has one as well."
Chota Miyan thinks quickly and replies, "Oh yes, that was a spare one I had, so I gave it to him."
"Oh Mehboob (darling)," she sighs. "Why did you have to give that Dravidian Admi (man) the biggest and best one ?"
The SETTING: Pageant Night Ms. Universe Beauty Pageant Q & A Portion THE FINALISTS: Ms. America Ms. Spain Ms. Britain Ms. Iran Ms. India Ms. Philippines QUESTION: Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. AMERICA: Well, I would say that, male organs in America are like gentlemen. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. AMERICA: Because it stands every time it sees a woman. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. SPAIN: Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. SPAIN: Because it charges every time it sees an opening. (Applause.... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country? MS. BRITAIN: Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors. QUESTION: Why do you say that? MS. BRITAIN: Because it cries after every performance. (Applause... Applause) QUESTION: Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male more...
For long, India's colonial rulers divided the country's population by the numbers. And as current-day politicians continue with that unholy task, we present a shortcut to make their work easier. Here's distinguishing India's different cultures by the numbers:
One Malayalee is a narial-pani shop.
Two Malayalees is a boat race.
Three Malayalees is a Gulf job racket.
Four Malayalees is an oilslick.
One Tamilian is a fugitive sandalwood smuggler.
Two Tamilians is a suicide-bomb squad.
Three Tamilians is a classical music school.
Four Tamilians is a Jayalalitha fan club.
One Andhraite is a cycle-rickshaw driver.
Two Andhraites is a spice shop.
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites is the Telugu film industry.
One Bengali is a rosagulla shop.
Two Bengalis is a black-and-white movie.
Three Bengalis is a Mohun more...