Laloo Jokes

Laloo, Jayalalitha, and karunanidhi are on a long flight in an Air Force plane. Laloo pulls out a 100 Rupee note and says, "I'm going to throw this Rs. 100 note out and make someone down below happy."
Jayalalitha not wanting to be outdone says,
"If that was my 100 Rupee note, I would split it into two Rs. 50 notes throw them down and make two people down below happy."
Of course karunanidhi doesn't want these two candidates to out do him so he pipes in,
" I would instead take one hundred Rs. 1 notes and throw them out to
make 100 people just a little happier."
At this point the pilot who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore comes out and says,
"If I throw all three of you out of this plane and I'll make 100 crore people happy!"

Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...

Back in the Jahanabad, there were two Yadavs, Laloo and Sadhu. One day, the two were enjoying a strong country in the local thek, when a man walked into the bar with a Brahmin's head under his arm. The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Brahmins; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of a Brahmin, I'll give him fifty thousand rupees."
The two Yadavs looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for a Brahmin. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Sadhu threw a rock which hit the Brahmin right on the head.
The Brahmin fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Laloo pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Sadhu said, "Lalooji, take a look at this."
Laloo replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Sadhu tugged more...

A major traffic jam was preventing people from moving forward.
A motorist shouted out wanting to know what was happening.
A guy from the front replied, "Well at the traffic crossing Laloo Yadav is sprawled across the road.
He is refusing to move from there!"
"But why?"
"He has lost the elections and will now surely be convicted for corruption and will have to pay lakhs of Rupess as fines!
He is threatening to douse himself with kerosene and set himself on fire if people didn't contribute with money to help him pay the fine!"
"So how much has been collected so far?"
"Six litres!"

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...