Gandhi Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Laloo Yadav

    Hot 3 months ago

    Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
    Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
    Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
    The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...

    Q: - Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
    A: - Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.
    Q: - Why won't the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
    A: - The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for' Kesh'
    Q: - What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon"?
    A: - Ramesh's son failed in statistics...
    Q) Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
    A) The gujju told Clinton "You are an IMPOTENT man"
    Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
    A) Tomato KETCHUP.
    Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome?
    A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.
    Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
    A) To see BIG BEHN.
    Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
    A) He wanted to get "cent-per-cent".
    Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
    A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
    Q) more...

    indian Emergency

    Hot 6 months ago

    This happened during the Emergency imposed by Mrs. Indira Gandhi in 1975. Bapu Gandhi, up in heaven, was troubled by the thought that after all he had done for his country, no one even remembered his name. He sent for Jawahar Lai Nehru and said "Nehru beta, you ruled the country for many years. What did you do to perpetuate the memory of your Bapu Gandhi?"
    "Bapu, I did everything I could. I had a samadhi built on the spot where we cremated your body. On your birthdays and death anniversaries we gathered at the samadhi, sang Ram Dhun and Vaishnav Jan. What more could I do?"
    "Who came after you?" asked Bapu.
    "I am told Lai Bahadur became Prime Minister after me," replied Nehru.
    So Bapu Gandhi sent for Lai Bahadur and put him the same question. Shastri replied: "Bapu, I had a very short time as Prime Minister - only one and a half year, but I had your statues put up in every town and village. I had all your speeches more...

    There was once LKY visited India. He was warmly welcomed by Gandhi, who took him to view many places in India. After sightseeing, LKY has this to say to Gandhi,' All the places I have visited in India are dirty, filthy and untidy. you should see how clean Singapore is!'
    A month later, Gandhi made a visit to Singapore. LKY brought him to Compass Rose for dinner. Gandhi who was unhappy with LKY insult, tried to find some dirty places in Singapore to return the insult.
    He took a pair of binoculars and look all around singapore to find a place which is dirty, but could find none. Finally, Gandhi after 10 mins of searching, saw a place which is very dirty and untidy.
    He signaled to LKY and ask him to take a look. Gandhi said,' This particular place is extremely dirty and untidy. Can you tell me where it is?'
    LKY took a look from the binos and said with a smile,' Oh, that is Little India.'

    Knock Knock
    Who's there?
    Gandhi!
    Gandhi who!
    Gandhi cane!

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