Saying Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    There's a brunette walking down a set of railroad tracks saying,"21, 21, 21..."
    Then a blonde pulls up, gets out of her car, and says,"What are you doing?"
    The brunette replies,"Just counting."
    The blonde says,"May I join you?"
    "Yes," replies the brunette. So the blonde and the brunette are now both walking down the railroad tracks saying,"21, 21, 21..."
    A train comes and the brunette jumps off the tracks as the blonde gets hit. After the train passes, the brunette gets back on the tracks and says,"22, 22, 22..."

    Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
    Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
    Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
    The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...

    A farmer drives across his field one day in his tractor, when half ways across the field the tractor breaks down. "Damn it" he said.

    He sees his wife in the farm yard feeding the chickens, he catches her attention and shouts to her and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix the engine in his tractor.

    His wife cannot hear him and raises her arms in the air to indicate this. The farmers shouts over again louder this time and signals with his hand that he needs a pair of pliers to fix his tractor.

    This carries on for a while with the farmer and his wife until eventually she makes out what he is saying.

    As soon as she realized what he was saying she signaled back. She put both hands on her breasts, then on her crotch and then on her backside.

    The farmer looked at her with a very puzzled stare, he couldn't believe what she was doing. His wife repeated this over and over until eventually the farmer gave up more...

    Cinderella, Superman and Pinocchio die and go to heaven. On their way they talk:
    Cinderella: "I want to be remembered as the most beautiful girl in the world"
    Superman: "I want to be remembered as the strongest person in the world"
    Pinocchio: "I want to be remembered as the greatest liar in the world"
    It's Cinderella's turn. She goes into the room and comes out smiling, saying "It's done. I'm the most beautiful girl in the world!"
    Then goes Superman. He goes into the room and comes out happy, saying "It's done. I'm the strongest person in the world!"
    Last comes out Pinocchio, angrily he says: "Damn! who's this Clinton guy?!?!"

    At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don't know anything.
    The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
    Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
    Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
    The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug!"

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