an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
the guy said," twenty dollars?"
"one hundred dollars?"
"two hunderd dollars?"
"five hundred dollars?"
the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"
the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.
while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"
the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?
while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"
A mother and a father were fighting calling each other bitches and bastards. When there 5 year old son walked in and asked what bitches and bastards meant. The parents said it was a very nice way to say ladies and gentlemen.
The next day the parents were feeling horny and were saying boobs and dicks. Their son walked in and asked what it meant. They replied it means coat and hats.
The next day was thanksgiving and the father was shaving, he cut himself and yelled shit! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The father replied its the brand of shaving creme.
That same day the mother was cutting the turkey and she cut herself. She yelled FUCK! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The mother replied it meant cutting the turkey.
The doorbell rang and the boy opened the door. The boy announced, "Good evening Bitches and Bastards, please hang up your boobs and dicks on the coat rack while my dad is wiping the shit off his face and my mother is fucking the more...
Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
A big brown bear came out of the hills and walked into a bar in Boulder, Colorado.
The big brown bear sat down at the bar and said, "Hey bartender, bring me a beer." The bartender replied, "Sorry, buddy, we can't serve big brown bears beer, bourbon, brandy or other bubbly booze at beer bars in Boulder."
The big brown bear noticed that a big buxom blonde broad with big boobs was back behind the bar, so the big brown bear said to the bartender, "Hey bartender, I still want a beer, and if you don't bring me a beer, I'm goin' back behind the bar and I'm goin' to eat that big buxom blonde broad with the big boobs." The bartender replied, "Sorry, buddy, but we still don't serve big brown bears beer, bourbon, brandy or other bubbly booze at beer bars in Boulder."
So, the big brown bear jumped back behind the bar and ate the big buxom blonde broad with the big boobs.
The big brown bear then got back on his chair and said, "Now, more...