MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
SATURDAY: Ron more...
If you're easily offended (I mean VERY easily), don't read this.
WOMEN SPEAK IN ESTROGEN AND MEN LISTEN IN TESTOSTERONE... By Matt Groening (Creator of The Simpsons and Life in Hell)
Deep Thoughts about Gender Differences
SEX: Women prefer 30-40 minutes of foreplay. Men prefer 30-40 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.
MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults. Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.
Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is lumpy and hairy and should not be seen by the light of day. Men are turned on at the sight of a naked woman's body. Most naked men elicit laughter more...
For Sale: Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
"Equal" is not always synonymous with "the same." Men and women are created equal; but boys and girls are not born the same.
1. You throw a little girl a ball, and it will hit her in the nose. You throw a little boy a ball, and he will try to catch it. Then it will hit him in the nose.
2. You dress your little girl in her Easter Sunday best, and she'll look just as pretty when you finally make it to church an hour later. You dress a boy in his Easter Sunday best, and he'll somehow find every mud puddle from your
home to the church, even if you're driving there.
3. Boys' rooms are usually messy. Girls' rooms are usually messy, except it's a good smelling mess.
4. A baby girl will pick up a stick and look in wonderment at what nature has made. A baby boy will pick up a stick and turn it into a gun.
5. When girls play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they like to dress them up and play house with them. When boys play with Barbie and Ken dolls, they more...
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple' s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.' What are you doing?' the mother-in-law asked.' I am waiting for my husband to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law replied.' Why are you naked?' asked the mother-in-law.' This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law replied.' LOVE DRESS! You are naked,' said the mother-in-law.' But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy,' said the daughter-in-law.' I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute,' the daughter-in-law continued. Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the' LOVE DRESS' and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home. Finally, the pickup truck drove up the drive way, and she took her more...