Fly Jokes

Why did the fly fall off the toilet?
It got pissed off.

Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives. "Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist. "Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!" He points at a palm tree and says, "what is that?" The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!" He then points at a rock and says, "and that?" The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!" "You see!", says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for' rock' and for' palm tree'!" "That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same word means' ind ex finger'!"

Skinny and fatty were playing

fatty blew off and skinny flew away

Q. If seagulls are called seagulls because they fly over the sea, what are they called when they fly over the bay?
A. bagels

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did the zen-master say to the New York City hotdog vendor?
A. Make me one with everything.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the name of the ninth reindeer?
A. Olive as in' olive the other reindeer'.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did George Washington say to his men before they got into the boat to cross the Potomac River?
A. Men. ... get in the boat...

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why is a Texas tornado like a Tennessee divorce?
A. Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Once upon a time, there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen.
A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.
The moral of the story:
1. Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you’re warm and happy in a pile of crap, keep your mouth shut.