Proves Jokes

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has more...

Some conservatives say that Gwen Ifill's upcoming book,'The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama,' is pro-Obama and proves her bias to the left. These are the same people that say the bible proves Bush right.

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light.However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electricbulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbsdark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labsspokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier thanthat of light, and that dark is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark.Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There isless dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the darksucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parkinglot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with allthings, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, theycan no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full darksucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA new candle has a more...

At a conference, a mathematician proves a theorem.
Someone in the audience interrupts him: "That proof must be wrong - I have a counterexample to your theorem."
The speaker replies: "I don't care - I have another proof for it."

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.