Proves Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers
For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However,
recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't
emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers.
The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the
existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark
is faster than light. The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs
suck dark. Take for example the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is
less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark
sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot
have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things,
dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer
suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark more...

Your continual unfaithfulness proves you are an absolute rotter," stormed the outraged wife, who had just caught her husband for the seventh time in a sportive romp with another woman.

"Quite the contrary," came the cool reply. "It merely proves that I'm too good to be true."

A Purple Heart just proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.