Peanut Jokes / Recent Jokes
Little Jenny comes home from playing at Johnny's house, and says,' 'Hey Mom, guess what! Johnny's got a penis like a peanut!''
Mom is understandably confused for a second, then asks,' 'What, you mean it's shaped like a peanut?''
' 'No silly, it's salty!''
[Editor's note: Please don't sue me.]
Aman walks inot a bar with a monkey on his shoulder.He steps up to the bar, sets the monkey on the bar, slidesthe peanut bowl ove to the monkey, then orders a beer. While the man is drinking his beer, the monkey takes a peanut, hulls it, looks at it, stickes it up his ass, then eats the peanut. the brtender sees this and tells the man,"Hey! Get that nasty animal outa my bar."
"What nasty animal?"
The man replies. "That monkey"says the bartender,"He's hulling those peanuts, sticking them up his ass, then eating them."
"Oh, He's not being nasty .He's being cautious."
The man says. "How do you figure that?"
ask the bartender. "Well you see," explained the man,"my monkey used to be a gluttion. Then one day a woman gave him a peach, and after passing that pit, now he makes sure it fits befor he eats it"
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
The 1st guy walks into a hotel and wants a room, but it is haunted the guy is sleeping when he hears,"Don't eat the peanut butter sandwich." He runs away. the 2nd guy gets the same room and hears the same thing and runs away. the 3d guy eats the sandwich and hears, "I told you once I told you twice I wiped my butt with the peanut butter slice!"