A man goes into the doctor.He says, "Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man's thigh, only to hear, "Gimme 20 bucks. I really need 20 bucks.""I've never seen or heard anything like this before. How long has this been going on?" The doctor asked."That's nothing Doc. Put your ear to my knee."The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Man, I really need 10 dollars. Just lend me 10 bucks!!""Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was dumbfounded."Wait Doc, that's not all. There's more, just put your ear up to my ankle," the man urged him.The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need 5 dollars. Lend me 5 bucks, please, if you will.""I have no idea what to tell you. There's nothing about more...
Little Johnny and Susie were only 10 years old, but they just knew that they were in love. One day they decided that they wanted to get married, so Johnny went to Susie's father to ask him for her hand.
Johnny bravely walked up to him and said "Mr. Smith, me and Susie are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replied, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replied "In Susie's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith said with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Susie."
Again, Johnny instantly replied, "Our allowance... Susie makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month, and that'll do us just fine."
81. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
82. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.
83. Q: Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.
84. Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
85. Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*
86. Q: Why do blonds have orgasms?
A: So they know when to stop having sex!
87. Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm???
A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say 'Next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: The batteries have run out.
88. Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She more...
A redneck has five bucks and is horny, so he thinks to himself, "Maybe I'll go to that whorehouse I've been hearin' so much 'bout." The redneck walks in, approaches a very burlesque, good-looking woman and says, "I've got 5 bucks, give me your best."
The man is immediately escorted to a room with a mirror, a couch, and a chicken in the corner. The woman shuts the door. The man reluctantly takes the chicken and finishes his business. He then realized that that was the best sex he'd ever had.
The following week, the man brings $10 of his hard earned money, and offers it to the woman. He is the whisked off in to a small room with a few benches and a double sided mirror. The small room quickly fills with men and women alike.
Two women walk into the room that the people are viewing. The two lesbians then proceed to make love on the table.
The redneck nudges the man next to him and exclaims, "Damn, for 10 bucks, this is damn good." The man then more...
This young guy comes into the office/wagon of the circus master: "I can climb up the center pole and dive off into space, NO NET, land on my head in center ring, and jump up and take a bow. How 'bout them apples?"
"How much are you asking for this spectacle?" asks the circus master.
"Just 200 bucks a show," says the young guy.
"I don't know. I'll have to see it first," says the circus master.
The acrobat climbs up, dives off, lands on his head, and jumps up and waves, although a bit wobbly.
"OK, for 200 bucks a shot, it's a deal," says the circus master.
"Oh, no! Not 200! 500!" says the acrobat.
"What? You said 200!"
"I know I said 200, but that was before I tried it!"