Monster Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Q: What do little ghosts drink?
    A: Evaporated milk.
    Q: Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
    A: Because people are dying to get in.
    Q: When do ghosts usually appear?
    A: Just before someone screams.
    Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
    A: ''How do you boo, sir? How do you boo?''
    Q: What's a ghost's favorite breakfast?
    A: Ghost toasties with booberries.
    Q: What's soft, moldy and flies?
    A: A spoiled bat.
    Q: What did the policeman say when a black widow spider ran down his back?
    A: ''You're under a vest!''
    Q: What happened to the monster that took the five o'clock train home?
    A: He had to give it back.
    Q: Why did the monster salute his vegetable soup?
    A: He looked in his bowl and saw a kernel of corn.
    Q: What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
    A: A dead ringer.
    Q: What did Dracula say then he saw a giraffe for the first time?
    A: I'd like to get to gnaw you.
    Q: Which more...

    Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death? He had a crush on her.

    Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.
    3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
    4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
    if he can find the perfect present, again!
    5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.
    6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
    7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared
    to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and
    monster trucks.
    8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like
    every other cat.
    9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
    10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.
    11. Shopping is not sport.
    12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
    13. You have enough more...

    HORIZONS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE EDUCATIONAL TECHNOLOGY
    By Ross Williams 3 June 1988.
    Recent studies have shown that while undergraduate students are more intelligent
    than kindergarten students, the mentality and attention span of the two groups
    are similar. With this in mind, we introduce a new concept in Computer Science
    education:
    COMPUTER SCIENCE SESAME STREET
    Narrator:
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    One of these programs has a bug.
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    And if you can't tell which one, you're a mug.
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    One of these programs will really teach yer,
    One of these programs is not like the others,
    Yes, that's not a bug, that's a feature.
    ---
    Voiceover:
    c
    C
    C?
    C!
    printf!
    while ((c=getchar() != EOF) {}
    C!
    ---
    Song:
    Dum diddle diddle diddle dum de dum dum,
    Dum diddle diddle diddle,
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5, more...

    What did one of Frankenstein's ears say to the other? I didn't know we lived on the same block.

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