In a small town some where in Illinois lies a family. It consisted of a husband, wife, three sons, and a daughter. One of the sons had a terrible secret.
"Dad, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm gay," said the son.
The Dad was furious he couldn't believe that one of his sons was gay.
A year had passed and his second son approached him and told a very bad secret.
"Dad, I'm sorry to disappoint you but I'm gay."
The Dad went crazy again, he couldn't believe that two out of three sons were gays.
Another year had passed and the third son came forward. "Dad I know you're not going to want to hear this but, I'm gay.
The Dad was enraged he started shouting "DOESN'T ANYONE IN THIS FAMILY LIKE GIRLS ANYMORE?!!"
The daughter said, "I do, I do!"
A father and son live on a farm. One day the father says, "Son, things haven't been going very well and I'm afraid we'll have to sell your duck. I'm really sorry, but we need the money. I want you to take the duck to town and bring back the money."So the son takes the duck and sets off down the road. Halfway to town he runs into a hooker. She says, "Hey kid, I could show you a really good time if you're interested." He replies, "I'd sure like to, but all I have to pay with is this duck." "Well," she says, "maybe we can work something out."So they go off into the bushes and the branches are snapping and feathers flying... When they come out, she is breathless and says, "Wow! That was incredible! Not bad for a kid. Tell you what, if you can do that again, I'll give you back your duck."As you might guess, he's all for that idea. So they return to the bushes and get it on again. When they are done she is still amazed at his more...
There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing.
After a while he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man more...
This one I heard from my friend:
There was a man who stopped by a hotel and asked to use the bathroom.
The manager said, "Sure but our bathroom is haunted by a ghost."
The man said, "I'm not afraid of no ghost."
So the man goes into the bathroom and he hears, "I'm the ghost of Willy Winky. I'll lick your balls and eat your weenie."
The man runs out screaming, and the hotel manager shakes his head and yells, "I told you so!"
Another man comes by and says, "Oh crap, I really need to use your bathroom!"
The manager says, "Sure but there's a ghost haunting the bathroom."
The man replies, "I don't believe in ghosts!"
The man goes in the bathroom and hears, "I'm the ghost of Willy Winky. I'll lick your balls and eat your weenie."
The man then runs out screaming.
Then Santa Claus comes in and says, "I really need to use your bathroom."
The manager says, more...
I didn't believe in reincarnation the last time, either.