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    KIDS IN CHURCH

    Hot 1 year ago

    3-year-old Reese:
    "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
    Harold is His name.
    Amen."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A little boy was overheard praying:
    "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
    I'm having a real good time like I am."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~! ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
    After the christening of his baby brother in church,
    Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
    His father asked him three times what was wrong.
    Finally, the boy replied,
    "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
    and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin,
    the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
    She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
    Finally, she decided to go solo.
    I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each more...

    Bloopers in the church

    Hot 1 year ago

    The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

    11. "Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on' It's a Terrible Experience'."

    12. "Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice."

    13. "Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM. Please use large double door at the side entrance."

    14. "Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community."

    15. "The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy."

    16. "A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday."

    17. "Today's Sermon:' How Much Can a Man Drink?' with hymns from a full choir."

    18. On a church bulletin during more...

    Holiday Party Memo

    Hot 1 year ago

    FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
    TO: All Employees
    DATE: October 1, 2009

    RE: Gala Christmas Party

    I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

    Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

    Merry Christmas to you and your family,

    Patty



    Company more...

    The Boy & The father

    Hot 1 year ago

    A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the
    boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

    "That was a honey bee," his father said,"one of our friends, and for
    stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

    Later the boy saw a butterfly so he ran over and stomped it.
    "That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for
    stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

    The next morning the family had sat down for breakfast. The boy ate
    his plain toast (no honey and butter.)

    Suddenly a cockroach ran from under the stove. His mother stomped it.
    The boy looked at his father and said, "Are you going to tell her or
    should I?

    What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

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