Honesty Jokes / Recent Jokes
There was this English Man, Scotch Man and an Irish Man going for a job interview.
They all had there induction exams, and where all called back one at a time.
The English man walks in first, and the interviewer says: "Well, you past your exam with flying colours! But theres one thing I like about a man and thats honesty, so can you notice anything odd about me?"
The English man looks and nods: "Yes, you've got one ear on the top of your head, and one at the side of you head!"
The interviewer was very pleased with the English mans honesty, and sent for the Scott. The interviewer goes through the same routine again and comes to the final question, and the Scott replies: "well, you've got one ear on top of your head and another at the side of you head!"
The interviewer again very pleased with the Sotts honesty sent for the Irish man. The interviewer precedes with the same rigmarole, and comes to the final question "Can you more...
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread and butter by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell into the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box sized computer and asked, "Is this your computer? " Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized computer and asked whether it was his.
Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at more...
On their honeymoon, the new husband told his bride, "I have a confession to make that I should have made before, but I was concerned that it might affect our relationship.
"What is it?" his new bride asked lovingly.
"I'm a golf fanatic," he said. "I think about golf constantly. I'll be out on the golf course every weekend, every holiday, and every chance I get. If it comes to a choice between your wishes and golf, golf will always win."
His new bride pondered this for a moment and said, "I thank you for your honesty. Now in the same spirit of honesty, I should tell you that I've concealed something about my own past that you should know about. The truth is, I'm a hooker."
"No problem," said her husband, "Just widen your stance a little, and overlap your grip, and that should clear it right up."
A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.
There was this English Man, Scotch Man and an Irish Man going for a job interview.
They all had there induction exams, and where all called back one at a time.
The English man walks in first, and the interviewer says: "Well, you past your exam with flying colours! But theres one thing I like about a man and thats honesty, so can you notice anything odd about me?"
The English man looks and nods: "Yes, you've got one ear on the top of your head, and one at the side of you head!"
The interviewer was very pleased with the English mans honesty, and sent for the Scott. The interviewer goes through the same routine again and comes to the final question, and the Scott replies: "well, you've got one ear on top of your head and another at the side of you head!"
The interviewer again very pleased with the Sotts honesty sent for the Irish man. The interviewer precedes with the same rigmarole, and comes to the final question "Can you notice more...
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep." To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager. The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof. The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money. Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain???????? Answer: Well, DUH!... The one with the biggest breasts!
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."
To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)
The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.
The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.
The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.
Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
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Answer: Well, DUH!...The one with the biggest more...