Secretary Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to spend the night with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that he does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment 'RENT FOR APARTMENT. On the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that the whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note: Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the apartment, I was under the impression that; 1) it had never been occupied
    2) that there was plenty of heat
    3) that it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home. However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check more...

    Soldier at Attention

    Hot 4 months ago

    Mr. Smith got himself a new secretary. She was young, pretty, sweet and polite. One day while taking dictation she noticed his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,' Mr. Smith, do you know your barracks door is open?'

    He didn't immediately understand her remark but later on he glanced down and saw his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his new secretary. He called her in and asked,' By the way Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door was open this morning, did notice the soldier standing at attention?'

    ' Why, no Mr. Smith,' she replied sweetly,' all I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on two old duffel bags.'

    The executive assistant

    Hot 4 months ago

    The beautiful Executive Assistant to the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich Taiwanese client. The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback.
    However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
    The Taiwanese man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem! I buy. I buy."
    Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."
    The man pauses for more...

    The Sexy Secretary.

    Hot 1 year ago

    A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary, so he called his wife to make up an excuse.After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her apartment and had great sex for two hours.Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck.He panicked, wondering what he was going to tell his wife.After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet, pretending to fight off the affectionate animal.Holding his neck with one hand, he said, "Honey, look what the dog did to my neck!""Hell, that's nothing" she answered, ripping open her blouse."Look what he did to my tits!"

    Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
    John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
    Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
    John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
    The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
    Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
    Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
    Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
    Both were shot in the head.
    Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
    Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
    Both were assassinated by Southerners.
    Both were succeeded by Southerners.
    Both successors were named Johnson.
    Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
    Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
    John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln was born in 1839.
    Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy was born in 1939.
    Both assassins were know by their three names.
    Both names more...

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