Final Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mailman's Final Day

    Hot 4 years ago

    After 30 years of delivering mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, it was the mailman's final day on the job.
    When he arrived at the first house on his route, the family was all there to greet him. They all congratulated him, wished him well and sent him on his way with a gift envelope.
    The family at the second house presented him with a selection of terrific fishing lure. At the third house, he was given a box of fine cigars.
    At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. Taking him by the hand, she gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she presented him with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
    When he had had enough, they went downstairs to the kitchen where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, bacon, potatoes, sausages, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of fresh roasted coffee. As she more...

    Architect programmer

    Hot 4 years ago

    If architects had to work like programmers...Dear Mr. Architect, Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If more...

    (My cousin forwarded this to me as a true story, I hope I'm not remiss by repeating it here:)
    Two guys were taking Chemistry at the University of Alabama. They did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, such that going into the final they had a solid "A". These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chemistry final was on Monday), they decided to go up to the University of Tennessee and party with some friends.
    They had a great time. However, with hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Alabama until early Monday morning.
    Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the University of Tennessee for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn't have a more...

    Game Show

    Hot 5 years ago

    A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!
    The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"
    The man grinned and said, "Dasher!"
    The game show host said, "Correct!"
    "Comet!"
    "Correct! What is the last name?"
    The man yelled, "Olive!"
    The game show host was confused and said, "Why Olive?"
    The contestent looked at him strangely and said, "Oh, don't you know? 'Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...'"

    The Final Exam

    Hot 3 years ago

    The two college football players knew that if they failed this final exam, they would be placed on academic probation and wouldn't be permitted to play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank and the final question was, "Old McDonald had a _______."
    Poor Bubba was really stumped. He knew he needed to get this one right to pass. Checking to make sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.
    "Pssssst, Tiny," Bubba whispered, "what the answer to the last question?"
    Tiny made sure the professor hadn't noticed, then turned to Bubba and said, "Gee Bubba, you sure are dumb. Everyone knows Old McDonald had a farm."
    "Right, I remember now," Bubba said. He picked up his pencil to fill in the answer and immediately stopped.
    Tapping Tiny on the shoulder again, he whispered, "How do you spell farm?"
    "You really are stupid, Bubba," Tiny replied. more...

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