Float Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Flood

    Hot 3 years ago

    One night a torrential downpour soaked South Louisiana. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there. Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Thibodaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house. It kept floating out, then back, out and back. Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house and then back again?" Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband. I told him he was going to cut the grass today, come Hell or High Water!!"

    1997 Darwin Award Winner

    Hot 2 years ago

    You all know about the Darwin Awards - It's an annual honor given to the person who did the
    gene pool the biggest service by killing/injuring themselves in the most extraordinarily
    stupid way.
    The 1995 winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top
    of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
    In 1996 the winner was an air force sergeant who attached a JATO (rocket) unit to his car
    and crashed into a cliff several hundred feet above the roadbed.
    And now, the 1997 winner: Larry Waters of Los Angeles -- one of the few Darwin winners to
    survive his award-winning accomplishment. Larry's boyhood dream was to fly. When he
    graduated from high school, he joined the Air Force in hopes of becoming a pilot.
    Unfortunately, poor eyesight disqualified him. When he was finally discharged, he had to
    satisfy himself with watching jets fly over his backyard.
    One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He more...

    Life Goes On

    Hot 2 years ago

    One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes.
    Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs. Wilson, waiting for help to come.
    Mrs. Wilson noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in again, over and over.
    Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?"
    Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told him he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water!"

    A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream.
    The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order.
    The blonde was listening to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer, but hold the roots.

    A brunette, a redhead and a blonde went to an ice cream parlor together. The brunette went up and asked for a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The counter man was confused, but gave her a Dr. Pepper float with no ice cream. The redhead went up and asked for a single dip of vanilla ice cream with Pepsi poured over it. The man was really confused now. But he gave the redhead her order. The blonde was listning to the other two women and thought that she should have a ''special order'' too. So she went up and asked for an extra-large root beer with no roots.

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