Once Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Tight Skirt

    Hot 1 year ago

    In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step on the bus.
    Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver she reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again she tried to make the step onto the bus only to discover she still couldn't! So, a little more embarrassed she once again reached behind her and unzipped her skirt a little more and for a second time attempted the step and once again, much to her chagrin she could not raise her leg because of the tight skirt. So, with a coy little smile to the driver she again unzipped the offending skirt to give a little more slack and again was unable to make the more...

    Chuck Norris boner

    Hot 1 year ago

    Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
    Their were no survivors

    The Blonde goes a fishing

    Hot 11 months ago

    A blonde wanted to take up a new hobby so decided to take up ice fishing. She got all of the equipment and set off to start her new hobby. She found a piece of ice and cut a small circular hole in it. On went the maggot on then end of her fishing rod and in went the rod into the water. Minutes later a voice came from above which said "there are no fish under the ice!" Confused she moved futher down the patch of ice that she had found. Once again, she cut a small circular hole in to the ice and in went her rod. Once again a booming voice made her jump. "there are no fish under the ice!" Confused she stuttered "God, God is that you?" "No this is not God, this is the manager of the ice rink!"

    Once there was a farmer who sired four daughters. After they reached
    puberty, he fretted for their virtue and always answered the door with a
    loaded shotgun in his hands.
    One night he answered a knock at the door to find a young man standing at
    his threshold. The young man said:
    "My name is Freddie
    I've come to pick up Betty.
    We're going out for spaghetti.
    I hope she's ready."
    The farmer thought the lad's introduction intelligent and witty, so he let
    his daughter go out with the fellow.
    A few minutes later, another knock was heard. Upon answering, the farmer
    encountered a second youth who said:
    "My name's Vance.
    I've come for Nance.
    We're going to a dance.
    Is she ready by chance?"
    Again the farmer though the introduction and the young lad to be
    acceptible, so he allowed his second daughter to go out.
    Within a short time, a third knock was heard and yet another young man
    was standing on more...

    Physics Puzzle...

    Hot 10 months ago

    Physics Puzzle... Nice one - try to crack it. ....
    Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers. One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years, tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus.
    Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot. Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.
    The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment. He was taken to the electrocution chamber. There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room. The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him. But to everyone's amazement, he survived.
    The judge decided to set him free, and the conductor returned to his profession. After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately, this time more...

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