Geordi Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Picard: "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
    attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been
    able to access their command pathways?"
    Geordi: "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by
    searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing
    technology."
    Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
    Riker looks puzzled. "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"
    Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send
    this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command
    pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming
    system resources at an unstoppable rate."
    Picard: "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't
    they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"
    Data: "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it
    creates a new version of itself more...

    Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
    So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast
    But still the trip will last and last
    We'll have two days til we arrive
    But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
    Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
    We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
    The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
    Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take?
    We could, I think, quite safely make
    Extinguishers from tractor beams
    And stop the fire, or so it seems... Geordi: more...

    Picard:
    Sigma Indri, that's the star,
    So, Data, please, how far? How far?
    Data:
    Our ship can get there very fast
    But still the trip will last and last
    We'll have two days til we arrive
    But can the Indrans there survive?
    Picard:
    LaForge, please give us factor nine.
    LaForge:
    But, sir, the engines are offline!
    Picard:
    Offline! But why? I want to go!
    Please make it so, please make it so!
    Riker:
    But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
    We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
    The danger here is far too great!
    Picard:
    But surely we must not be late!
    Troi:
    I'm sensing anger and great ire.
    Computer:
    Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
    Picard:
    The ship's on fire? How could this be?
    Who lit the fire?
    Riker:
    Not me.
    Worf:
    Not me.
    Picard:
    Computer, how long til we die?
    Computer:
    Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
    Data:
    May I suggest a course to take?
    We could, more...

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
    Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip:
    The phasers were hung in the armory securely,
    In hope that no alien would get up that early.
    The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
    (Except for the few who were partying drunks)
    And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
    Had just settled down for a neat face to face...
    When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
    That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
    Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
    Leapt into the turbos and shouted "Deck One!"
    The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
    Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
    When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
    But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
    But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
    That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
    His sleigh grew much more...

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
    Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
    The phasers were hung in the armoury securely,
    In hope that no alien would get up that early.
    The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
    (Except for the few who were partying drunks);
    And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
    Had just settled down for a neat face to face...
    When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
    That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
    Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
    Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly "Deck One!"
    The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
    Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
    When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
    But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
    But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
    That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
    His sleigh grew more...

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