Worf Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,
    So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast
    But still the trip will last and last
    We'll have two days til we arrive
    But can the Indrans there survive? Picard: LaForge, please give us factor nine. LaForge: But, sir, the engines are offline! Picard: Offline! But why? I want to go!
    Please make it so, please make it so! Riker: But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
    We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
    The danger here is far too great! Picard: But surely we must not be late! Troi: I'm sensing anger and great ire. Computer: Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire! Picard: The ship's on fire? How could this be?
    Who lit the fire? Riker: Not me. Worf: Not me. Picard: Computer, how long til we die? Computer: Eight minutes left to say goodbye. Data: May I suggest a course to take?
    We could, I think, quite safely make
    Extinguishers from tractor beams
    And stop the fire, or so it seems... Geordi: more...

    Picard:
    Sigma Indri, that's the star,
    So, Data, please, how far? How far?
    Data:
    Our ship can get there very fast
    But still the trip will last and last
    We'll have two days til we arrive
    But can the Indrans there survive?
    Picard:
    LaForge, please give us factor nine.
    LaForge:
    But, sir, the engines are offline!
    Picard:
    Offline! But why? I want to go!
    Please make it so, please make it so!
    Riker:
    But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
    We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
    The danger here is far too great!
    Picard:
    But surely we must not be late!
    Troi:
    I'm sensing anger and great ire.
    Computer:
    Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!
    Picard:
    The ship's on fire? How could this be?
    Who lit the fire?
    Riker:
    Not me.
    Worf:
    Not me.
    Picard:
    Computer, how long til we die?
    Computer:
    Eight minutes left to say goodbye.
    Data:
    May I suggest a course to take?
    We could, more...

    The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type that it has
    encountered several times before.
    The Enterprise goes to check up on a remote outpost of scientists, who
    are all perfectly all right.
    The Enterprise comes across a Garden-of-Eden-like planet called Paradise,
    where everyone is happy all the time. However, everything is soon revealed
    to be exactly as it seems.
    The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later
    turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform, wearing a silly hat.
    The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a strange alien plague, for
    which the cure is found in the well-stocked sick-bay.
    An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to
    the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to
    bring the right leads.
    A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a
    faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent more...

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
    Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip:
    The phasers were hung in the armory securely,
    In hope that no alien would get up that early.
    The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
    (Except for the few who were partying drunks)
    And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
    Had just settled down for a neat face to face...
    When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
    That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
    Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
    Leapt into the turbos and shouted "Deck One!"
    The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
    Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
    When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
    But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
    But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
    That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
    His sleigh grew much more...

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
    Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip;
    The phasers were hung in the armoury securely,
    In hope that no alien would get up that early.
    The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
    (Except for the few who were partying drunks);
    And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
    Had just settled down for a neat face to face...
    When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
    That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
    Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
    Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly "Deck One!"
    The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din,
    Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
    When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
    But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
    But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
    That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
    His sleigh grew more...

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