Crooks Jokes

The editor of a small weekly newspaper, in a rage over several government bills that had recently been passed, ran a scathing editorial under the headline: "half of OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS." Many prominent local politicians were outraged, and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline: "HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS."

Two crooks were in the process of robbing a hotel when one suddenly said, "I hear sirens! Jump!"
"Are you nuts?" the other replied. "We're on the 13th floor!"
The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"

Two English crooks paid 1000 for 10000 worth of forged currency. When they checked their purchase they found that the forgeries were unfortunately in 6 and 13 denominations!
Having decided that the only place they would successfully get rid of the dud money would be in Ireland, they jumped onto the boat and made their way to a pub in deepest Co. Kerry.
The barman drew their 2 pints of the black stuff, and one of the crooks nonchalantly asked "Will you accept 6 or 13 sterling notes? I haven't anything smaller?".
The barman cheerfully replied "Ah sure that'll be fine. .. now would you be wanting yer change in 2 or 9 notes?"

Two English crooks paid

- If you have cleared the entire house (or apartment), encountered no resistance and have not cussed out once, you hit the wrong house.
- The newly elected Sheriff is not the one you voted for, and he knows it!
- Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.
- Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
- You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
- Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
- The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
- The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
- Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
- If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction.
- To err is human, more...