Coma Jokes

  • Funny Jokes


    Hot 1 year agoby justincider

    Whenever my girlfriends take me back to their place, they always slip into something comfortable.
    A coma.

    Coma Cure

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man was visiting his wife in hospital where she has been in a coma for several years. On this visit he decided to rub her left breast instead of just talking to her. On doing this she let out a sigh.

    The man ran out and told the doctor who said that was a good sign and suggested he should try rubbing her right breast to see if there is any reaction.

    The husband went in and rubbed her right breast. This produced a moan from his wife. He rushed out and told the doctor. The doctor said this was amazing and a real breakthrough.

    The doctor then suggested the man should go in and try oral sex, saying he would wait outside as it is a personal act and he didn't want the man to be embarrassed.

    The man goes in, then came out about five minutes later, white as a sheet. He told the doctor his wife is dead. The doctor asked what happen to which the man replied,' 'She choked.''

    Woman in a Coma

    Hot 3 years ago

    There's a woman in a hospital in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge bathes the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, according to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets the bright idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulus to bring the woman out of her coma. She calls the woman's husband, tells him her idea about oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, closes the curtain around the bed, and closes the door. Five minutes later, the man comes running out of the room screaming that all of his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately.
    The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the man what had happened.
    "I'm not sure, but I think she choked".

    A pregnant woman from Washinton D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a coma. When she wakes up, she sees she's no longer pregnant and she asks the doctor about her baby.
    The doctor replies, "Ma'am you've had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named them."
    The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!"
    She asks him, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
    "Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

    A woman is in a coma. Nurses are in her room giving her a spongebath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there is a response on the monitor when he touches her.
    They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
    The husband is skeptical, but they assure him that they'll close the curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try. The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flatlines... no pulse... no heart rate.
    The nurses run into the room. The husband is standing there, pulling up his pants and says, "I think she choked."

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