Medical Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    TWINKIE JOKE

    Hot 2 weeks agoby
    YOUDONTWANNAKNOW

    Last year, a guy went to a doctor because he was losing weight.
    He found out he had a tapeworm, and was instructed by the doctor to bring a muffin, a Twinkie and a cookie with him on his next visit.
    When he was being examined the doctor shoved the muffin, the Twinkie, and finally the cookie up the guy's a**.
    The patient protested, but the doctor calmed him down, saying it was part of the therapy.
    This treatment continued for several weeks and every time the doctor shoved a muffin, a Twinkie and a cookie up his a**.
    Finally, after many visits, the Doctor instructed the patient to bring a muffin, a Twinkie and a mallet for the next visit.
    The day arrived and this time the doctor shoved only the muffin and the Twinkie up the patient's a**.
    After a few minutes the tapeworm appeared out of his a**hole and demanded, "Where's my cookie!?" WHAM!!!

    Stressed

    Hot 3 days ago

    Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
    Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
    Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid bastard!!!

    Gallbladder joke

    Hot 3 days agoby Funny gal

    q. What’s the gallbladder’s favorite band?
    a. The Rolling Stones.

    A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."

    "But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"

    "Really? Great! Show me!"

    So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

    "Well," said the interviewer, more...

    A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't smell anything."
    The doctor examines her vagina, and then says, "There's something terribly wrong. You need an operation." She asks, "On my vagina?"
    He says, "No. On your nose!"

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