Bicycle Jokes / Recent Jokes

What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers! What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old? Six weeks old! What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail? This is the end of me! Policeman: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."Zoo Keeper: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle!"Why do the elephants have short tails? Because they can't remember long stories! How to you keep an elephant in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow!"Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden!""Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself!" My elephants got no trunk? How does it smell? Terrible! What do elephants sing at christmas? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants... Who do elephants get their christmas presents from? Elephanta Claus!

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.

Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Q. What do you have when 100 Lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A Doberman.

Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just more...

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an $80, 000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were' pulling out,' and mommy said that' you should wait because she was coming, too....'
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80, 000 mortgage!"

John was talking to his friend in school.

My father does not know whether to buy a bicycle or a cow.

Susan tried to give some advice.

'Your father would look silly riding a cow'

'And he would look sillier milking a bicycle' replied John.

During my college days i went to participateslow bicycle race competetion, I came first in the competetion, when i went to claim mytrophy, my principal kicked me out from hisoffice saying that the trophy goes to theperson who came in the last, because itsSLOW BICYCLE RACE.