Juan Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Mexican Smuggler

    Hot 3 years ago

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
    The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
    He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the more...

    Mexican basketball

    Hot 4 years ago

    What do you call mexican basketball?
    Juan on Juan.

    Juan and Amal Classic

    Hot 1 year ago

    A California couple discovered the wife was pregnant, but the family simply couldn't afford any more children. They looked around and found an excellent Hispanic family to adopt the child. Then they found out she was going to have twins. Fortunately, a family of Arab Americans agreed to adopt the other child. Twin healthy boys were born and passed along to the families, who named them Juan and Amal.
    The biological parents kept in close touch with the adoptive parents in a very amicable relationships. One day, Juan's family sent a picture of the youth in his baseball uniform. The biological mother was so proud of her son. She said to her husband, "He is so handsome! I wish we had a picture like this of our other son, too."
    He replied, "But dear, they are twins. When you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

    Don Juan

    Hot 3 years ago

    Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible fight.
    "I am the most beautiful person in the world," proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
    "No, you're not," answered Don Juan and Tom Thumb.
    "I am the smallest person in the world," shouted Tom Thumb.
    "No, you're not," said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan
    "I have had more lovers than any person in the world," announced Don Juan.
    "No, you haven't" replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
    Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
    Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming.
    "I am the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so."
    In went Tom Thumb and out he came as more...

    No Pun Intended

    Hot 4 months ago

    1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

    2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

    3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

    4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

    5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

    6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby more...

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