Border Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
    The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked
    "How did you do it?"
    "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

    Mexican Smuggler

    Hot 4 years ago

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
    The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
    He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the more...

    A Genie joke

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day an old jewish pole, living in Warsaw, has his last light bulb
    burn out. To get a new one he'll have to stand in line for two hours
    at the store (and they'll probably be out by the time he gets there),
    so he goes up to his attic and starts rummaging around for an old oil
    lamp he vaguely remembers seeing.
    He finds the old brass lamp in the bottom of a trunk that has seen
    better days. He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in
    cloud of smoke.
    "Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing
    me I will grant you three wishes."
    The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan
    resurrected. I want him to re-unite his mongol hordes, march to the
    Polish border, and then decide he doesn't want the place and march
    back home."
    "No sooner said than done!" thunders the genie. "Your second wish?"
    "Ok. I want Genghis Khan more...

    Mutual Understanding

    Hot 5 years ago

    A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road.

    A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who was still barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked him what had happened.

    "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi border guard. I looked him right in the eye and shouted, "Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash!" He looked me right in the eye and shouted back, "Bill Clinton is an unprincipled, lying piece of trash too!"

    "We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."

    BETHLEHEM -- It was rumored today that an unmarried couple from
    Nazareth stopped in a manger owned by Alfredo Pinchi, a notorious
    local slumlord, and a baby was born.

    "There was no running water, and the place was filled with straw,"
    commented local public health authorities. "We even found a
    donkey inside!"

    "The mother gave birth under extremely questionable circumstances,"
    offered Pontius Pilate, Judean candidate for District Attorney.
    "She claims to have been a virgin."

    Unconfirmed reports indicate that Roman authorities are
    investigating the baby on charges of sedition and treason. "There
    are a bunch of people running around alleging that the baby is the
    son of God," explained Pilate, "and that he will have some radical
    ideas about religion in the future."

    Three Kings from the Orient were caught on the outskirts of
    Bethlehem more...

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