Submitted by Darcy
Twice a week a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border and he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.
They racked their brains but never found anything untoward.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene, that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens. Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune. But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the more...
theres this first grade teacher that is teaching her students how to read. she bakes cookies for the class.
when the kids come in from recess they all sit in their seats.
the teacher asked, "does anyone want to tell me what you did at recess today?"
sally raises her hand and says, "I played in the sand box."
"Okay," said the teacher, "If you can spell sand on the board I will give you a cookie." she does it.
Ben raises his hand and says " I played in the sand box too!"
"Okay if you can spell box on the board I will give yu aa cookie." So he does it.
Mae-he Mahamid riases his hand and says (with an accent) "I wanted to play in da sand box, but ben and sally wouldnt let me."
"That is blunt racial descrimination," said the teacher, "if you can spell blunt racial descrimination on the board i will give you a cookie."
An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of
water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the
sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a
shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has
a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left in
the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But, this is no
ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi, complete with black
alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish
"What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!" The Arab
thinks about more...