Submitted by Darcy
Twice a week a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border and he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.
They racked their brains but never found anything untoward.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene, that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens. Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune. But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
A few minutes later, the young camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these long eyelashes?" "They're to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," replies the mother.
"Momma, why do I have these great big humps on my back?" asks the baby camel. "They're to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without eating for long periods," explains the mother.
"So, we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes and these humps to store fat," the young camel says.
"That's right, son," says the mother.
"Then why are we in San Diego Zoo?" asks the baby camel.
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the more...
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving.Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy.Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice.A command was given to a dog: "SPEAK!"The dog said in return: "Not without my lawyer present!"Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of more...