Submitted by Darcy
Twice a week a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border and he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.
They racked their brains but never found anything untoward.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene, that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens. Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune. But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...
Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you
think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As
the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he
asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're
not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears
the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a
monk." The man says, "all right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do more...
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
A few minutes later, the young camel asks, "Momma, why do I have these long eyelashes?" "They're to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," replies the mother.
"Momma, why do I have these great big humps on my back?" asks the baby camel. "They're to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without eating for long periods," explains the mother.
"So, we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes and these humps to store fat," the young camel says.
"That's right, son," says the mother.
"Then why are we in San Diego Zoo?" asks the baby camel.