Bike Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    I asked God for a bike

    Hot 9 months agoby Jenny

    I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

    Special Family

    Hot 9 months ago

    A
    guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
    wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
    in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
    he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
    sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
    to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
    it with the owner.
    "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
    gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
    "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
    simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
    and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
    It protects it from the rain. In
    fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
    tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
    and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
    The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
    He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
    ecstatic (being a Harley more...

    There once was a good Baptist Minister, who in order to make his family's budget go a little further, rode a bicycle to Church and to Church functions. One day his bike turned up missing. He searched everywhere, but could not find it. Since it was a very small town he lived in, and most of the town was in his parish, he assumed that one of his flock had strayed and stolen his bicycle.
    He spoken with his Deacon about his quandry. The Deacon suggested that at the Sermon next Sunday, the Minister talk on the Ten Commandments. When he got to the Commandment "Thou Shalt Not Steal", the Minister should turn on the Fire-and-Brimstone and preach like he had never preached before. The guilty part should then feel such remorse for their wrongdoing, that they would return the bike.
    So Sunday came and the Minister gave his sermon. It was a good sermon but when he reached "Thou Shalt Not Steal", there was no Fire-and-Brimstone. The Deacon was puzzled and asked the more...

    Shiny New Motorcycle

    Hot 4 years ago

    An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
    "Where did you get such a functional bike?" asked the first.
    The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, spread her arms wide and said: "Take what you want."
    The second engineer nodded approvingly: "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

    Fast fun

    Hot 2 years ago

    (Heard on radio station CHNS, Halifax.)
    There was a young fellow who was quite inventive and
    was always trying out new things. One day he thought
    he'd see just how fast a bicycle could go before it
    became uncontrollable. He asked his friend, who owned
    an old Mustang, if he could tie his bike to the bumper
    of his car to test his theory. His friend said,
    "Sure."
    So the young man tied his bike to the back of the car
    and said to his friend:
    "I'll ring my bike bell once if I want you to go
    faster, twice if I want you maintain speed, and
    repeatedly if I want you to slow down."
    With that, off they went. Things were going pretty
    well, with the car driver slowly speeding up to well
    over 60 mph. The young fellow on the bike was handling
    the speed just fine. But, all of sudden, a black
    Corvette came up beside them and before you knew it
    the fellow driving the Mustang forgot all about more...

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