Zsa Jokes / Recent Jokes

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Prof. Irwin CoreyLove matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. - Countess of BlessingtonI've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven't been able to find anybody who'll take what I have to give. - Cass DaleyI'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year. - Bette DavisLove is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. - Lord DewarI've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about' short' and' cheap'? - Phyllis DillerNever go to bed angry. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis DillerIt destroys one's nerves to be amiable everyday to the same human being. - Benjamin DisraeliHonolulu, it's got everything. Sand for more...

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
- John Heywood
• I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
- Sam Kinison
• It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.
- Unknown
• A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
• I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
- Noel Coward
• Don't marry a girl who says that she has already been asked to marry half-a-dozen times. Five times she has been asked by her mother and father.
- Unknown