Bruce Jokes

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    Bruise Lee Jokes

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    Bruce Lee is actually a Malayalee, but he left Kerala, the land of MaveLee, because he didn't have Jo lee or Koo Lee. He was not happy to be a ThozhilaLee or Vazhakkaa Lee and decided that he wants to become a MuthalaLee by being a Pora Lee. Actually, he invented his most popular film titles from the Malayalam word Vyaa Lee (Dragon). His favorite goddess was Ka Lee and he enjoyed Adipo Lee a lot. What is Bruce Lee's favorite weapon? - Kodaa Lee.. According to Bruce Lee, which is the Venomous snake? - Ana Lee. Place where Bruce Lee stays when he is in Kerala -Adima Lee. Bruce Lee's Favourite Malayalam Channel- Kaira Lee. Bruce Lee favorite vegetable? -Thakkaa Lee. What sound does Bruce Lee make when some one hits him? - Nilavi Lee. What is Bruce Lee's pet - Chunde Lee What kind of water does Bruce Lee prefer with his lunch?- Karingaa Lee. What is Bruce Lee's Girl Friend's name? - Anaarka Lee. What is Bruce Lee's nick name? - Neeraa Lee. While in kerala he likes to be known as a - more...

    Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand
    while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show
    looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a
    calculator.
    Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
    wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service
    until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car
    isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as
    if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say
    to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but
    now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to
    start." We will then drink beer.
    Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup
    and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as
    I do, so for you this isn't an more...

    At a World Brewing Convention in the United States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of each day's conferencing.
    Bruce, the boss of Fosters, shouted to the barman,
    'in 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, cobber.'
    Rob, chief of Budweiser, calls out,
    'In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all. Give me a pint of Bud.'
    Hans steps up next,
    'In Germany we invented beer. Give me a Weisen, the real king of beers.'
    Up steps Dutchman Jan, chief executive of Grolsch, who states that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.
    Patrick, the CEO of Guinness, steps forward.
    'Barman, give me a coke with ice please.'
    The other four stare at him in stunned silence with amazement written all over their faces.
    Eventually Bruce asks, 'Are you not going to have a Guinness, Pat?'
    Patrick replies, 'Well, more...

    Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.
    Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
    Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.
    Because I'm a guy, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.
    Because I'm a guy, I can be relied upon to more...

    Because I'm a Guy...
    ...I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.
    ...when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in. Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.
    ...when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.
    ...I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like more...

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