Virginia Jokes

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    *The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
    * The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
    * Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten.
    * Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
    * David Prowse, was the guy in the Darth Vader suit in Star Wars. He spoke all of Vader's lines, and didn't know that he was going to be dubbed over by James Earl Jones until he saw the screening of the movie.
    * Many hamsters only blink one eye at a time.
    * In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.
    * Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33.
    * February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not more...

    Three college students were rapping about who they'd like to be cast off on a desert with. The first one opted for Cindy Crawford. The next one chose Pamela Anderson. The third man chose Virginia Pipeline. "Never heard of her." his companions protested. "Who is she?" "Why she's just the greatest Italian gal of all, making the headlines in the newspaper," replied the third man. "See, here it is on page one: FIVE DIE LAYING VIRGINIA PIPELINE"

    "I'd like the number for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator.
    "There are multiple listings for Christine Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?"
    The young man hesitated a moment,
    "Well, uh, most people call me Snake."

    (Washington DC): A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check - a forged check. He got 10 years.
    (Virginia): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head - and realized that he'd forgotten to cut eye holes in the mask.
    (Maryland): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole - are you ready for this? - the bank's video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn't get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)
    (Washington, DC): A man successfully broke into a bank's basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he more...

    A LETTER FROM A WEST VIRGINIA MOTHER TO HER DAUGHTER
    Dear Louanne Ellie Mae,
    I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We
    don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
    This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though; last week I put a loan in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
    About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
    John locked his keys in the more...

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