West Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Greatest Gunfighter

    Hot 3 years ago

    In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.
    One Saturday night, as he was sitting in the saloon, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day.
    The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink, and told him the story of his great ambition.
    "Could you possibly give me some tips?" he asked.
    The old man looked him up and down and said, "Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg."
    "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
    "Yep, sure will," said the old-timer.
    The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his .44 and more...

    Mad Martin

    Hot 3 years ago

    Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and
    tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West. (This was in the
    days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
    tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West
    means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
    earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)
    So, Fred found his way to a frontier town and became the bartender at
    the wildest saloon in the territory. He soon proved how rough and
    tough he was, and the owner of the bar was pleased with how he broke up
    fights and didn't skim too much off the receipts. He told Fred that he
    (Fred) was doing a fine job, but he should remember one thing: "If you
    ever hear even a rumor that Mad Martin is coming to town, just save
    what you can, put a bottle of Red Eye on the counter, and head out of
    town as fast as you can."
    Fred was pretty perplexed more...

    Jerks by Patrick Hanifin (Reproduced without permission from the Humor Archives)
    Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found
    the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
    I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly
    the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude.
    I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits.
    After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided
    to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung
    up.
    Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of
    weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then
    I'd more...

    Rules of Engagement For McCain and Obama.

    1. Music in background must be from "West Side Story" the "Jet Song."

    2. No Brass knuckles, guns, broken coke bottles or clubs with nails.

    3. Switchblades are the weapon of choice, biting, scratching, clawing are allowed.

    The winner gets all the Latino voters.

    Not all were happy with the rules of engagement.

    One prominent Latino Spokesperson said, "This is an outrage in this day and age, to classify Latinos in this category of "West Side Story", but on the other hand, the Latino spokesperson went on to say "This should be a good battle." However, I would prefer a good cockfight. Si!

    The NFL team names

    Hot 1 year ago

    NFL Team Lame Names

    When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team's performance. Here is a collection of some of these lame names for the NFL.

    AFC West:

    Denver Broncos - Denver Donkeys

    Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City Griefs

    Los Angeles Raiders - Los Angeles Faders

    San Diego Chargers - San Diego Rechargers

    Seattle Seahawks - Seattle Weehawks

    AFC Central:

    Cincinnati Bengals - Cincinnati Plaingels

    Cleveland Browns - Cleveland Clowns

    Houston Oilers - Houston Spoilers

    Pittsburgh Steelers - Pittsburgh Reelers

    AFC East:

    Buffalo Bills - Buffalo Nils

    Buffalo Spills

    Indianapolis Colts - Indianapolis Dolts

    Miami Dolphins - Miami Stallfins

    Miami Soft Ones

    New England Patriots - New England more...

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