Singh Jokes / Recent Jokes

Teacher To Sardar: What Is A Sardar Called Who Drinks Too Much Beer?
Sardar To Teacher: Just-Beer Singh

Santa Singh was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday
when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by
three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal
his money. Finally, Santa decided that it would serve
his best interest to walk a different route and then
take up some self-defense classes so,
this wouldn`t happen again.
He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well
to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from
work Santa took his old route home and sure enough
there they were.
He walked up to them and the battle ensued.
The next afternoon Santa went to his karate class
with a black eye,
a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor,
shocked, asked him what happened?
`Well,` explained Santa, `I took my old way home
last night so I could beat these guys up who were
stealing my money, but they beat me up before I
could get my shoes and socks off!`

Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck`s going` on? Why are you scared? I was enjoying my ride down there? " Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you`ve got a *driver.* "

An American tourist in Punjab walked into a beautiful deserted forest and found a lovely pool in it, and decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn`t see anyone, and undressed and just as she was about to dive in, Santa Singh the gardner appeared from behind the bushes where he was hiding all along and said, `Madam! Swimming not allowed!`` You could have told me that before I took off my clothes!`, the American woman scolded him. Santa Singh replied, `Madam, only swimming not allowed, taking off clothes allowed!

Through the center of Lahore there's the new Indo-Pak train speeding along (Samjhuata Express or whatever - which goes between India and Pak).

In one compartment of the train there are four people.

A beautiful vivacious young woman, an old matronly woman, a Pakistani soldier, and our own Santa Singh.

Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel.

It is completely dark. Then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap.

When the train exits the tunnel, the Pakistani soldier is holding the side of his face, and Santa Singh is grinning his face off.

The old matronly woman thinks: "Now that's a fine young woman, the Pakistani soldier tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one!"

The young woman is thinking: "Now that's a strange Pakistani soldier, he'd rather kiss that old hag than me."

The Pakistani soldier is thinking: "Now that's a smart Indian, he steals more...

Mr Harpreet Singh Gulati is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific.
Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time.
Gulati: "Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion"
Gary: "How about if I play left handed? "
Gulati: [Think.. Think..] "OK!"
Gulati is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Manpreet Singh.
Gulati: Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me in spite of him playing left-handed...
Manpreet: Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!

DURING the selections for the school football team, the coach gave the players the option of selecting their own playing positions. The players made up their minds and the coach began to ask them about their playing positions. The conversation went as follows:
Coach:' Banerjee?'
Banerjee:' Centre forward, Sir.'
Coach:' Kumar?'
Kumar:' Right back, Sir.'
Coach:' What about you, Singh?'
Singh:' There is a slight problem.'
Coach:' What?'
Singh:' My friends are wicked, they want me to play Left out, Sir.'
Coach:' So, what's the problem?'
Singh:' How can I play Left out? Won't I have to play outside the field, Sir?'