Sir Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Who Is It

    Hot 5 months ago

    While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with
    Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says
    that,
    it is to surround himself with intelligent people.
    Bush asks how he knows if they`re intelligent.
    "I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Kalam.
    "Allow me to demonstrate."
    Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime
    Minister,
    please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father
    has a
    child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
    Manmohan immediately responds, "It`s me, Sir! "
    "Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Kalam. He hangs up
    and
    says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" Bush nods: "Yes Mr.
    President. Thanks a lot. I`ll definitely be using that!" Bush, upon
    returning to Washington, decides he`d better put the Condoleeza more...

    A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.

    The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

    Boudreaux says, "Dat's easy," and proceeds to draw three trees.

    The boss says, "What the hell is that?"

    Boudreaux says, "Tree' n tree' n tree makes nine."

    "Fair enough," says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99."

    Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says.

    The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"

    Boudreaux more...

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

    WOW BALGOBIN....

    Hot 3 months ago

    TEACHER: Why are you late?
    BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
    TEACHER: What sign?
    BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
    TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
    BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
    BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
    TEACHER: No, that's wrong
    BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
    BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
    TEACHER: What are you talking about?
    BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
    *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
    -TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
    BALGOBIN: Here it is!
    TEACHER: more...

    Sperm Bank Stick Up

    Hot 2 months ago

    A masked man walks into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter and shouts,' Open the safe!'

    'But this is not a real bank!' the woman replies,' It's a sperm bank.'

    'Open the safe or I'll shoot!' the man shouts.

    The woman, now terrified opens the safe.

    'Now take one of the bottles and drink it,' he says.

    'But sir, these are sperm samples!' the woman replies.

    'Just drink it or I'll shoot!'

    The woman opens the bottle and drinks the lot.' Now take another bottle and drink it.'

    'But sir, I just drank one!'

    'Drink another one or I'll shoot you!'

    The woman has no alternative and drinks a second bottle.

    When she has emptied it, the man now takes off his mask and the woman is surprised to see the robber is her husband.

    'Now you see, Honey,' he says,' It isn't so difficult, is it?'

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