Ram Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ram: “Can this parrot talk? ”
Shopkeeper: “Yes! it repeats everything it hears. ”
(after a few days, at the pet shop)
Ram: “This parrot cannot speak at all!! You said it repeats whatever it hears. ”
Shopkeeper: “I know! This is because it is deaf!!! ”

What is it that RAVAN can do but RAM can't?. . . . . .
A: Group discussion when he is alone.

Ram: "My wife has the worst memory".
Shyam: "Does she forget everything?"
Ram: "No, She remembers everything".

Son: Pop... what is the Ramayan stuff that all my friends in school talk about..

Pop: So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step mom, or somethin', was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, you know, send this cool dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or reserve or somethin'.

Since he was going, for like, somethin' like more than 10 years or so, he decided to take his wife and his bro along. You know... so that they could all chill out together. But dude, the forest was reeeeeeal scary shit, really man, they had monkeys and devils and shit like that.

But this dude, Ram, kicked their ass with darts, bows and arrows, so it was fine. But then some bad boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, were our man, and his bro Lakshman, pissed! And you don't piss this son-of-a-gunz' coz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with more...

A DIG and a Commandant of the Armed Police were relaxing on the lawns of the Mess. The conversation turned towards the orderlies a short while later. Each one claimed that his orderly was a fool. The two decided to compare. The Commandant called for his orderly and said,' Ram Singh, here is a ten-rupee note. Go and purchase an Ambassador car from the market right now and bring it here.'
'Right, Sir,' said the orderly. He took the note from the officer, saluted and went back.
Then the DIG called his orderly and told him,' Prem Singh, go to my office and see whether I am sitting there or not.'
'Right, Sir,' the orderly said and went back.
The two officers had a hearty laugh, not realising that the orderlies were talking outside.
Ram Singh was saying,' Prem Singh, look at my stupid boss. He doesn't even know that the market is closed today and the car cannot be bought.'
'And look at my boss, Ram Singh. He wants me to go and see whether he is in his office or more...

My pocket got picked in the bus today but my wife saved my money,' said Ram Lal.
His friend Girdhari Lal, full of sympathy, asked,' Did your wife manage to catch the pickpocket?'
'No, no. She was not on the bus,' replied Ram Lal.
'Then how did she save your money?' enquired Girdhari Lal rather puzzled.
'Oh, she had removed most of the cash from my wallet in the morning!' replied Ram Lal.

Ram Lal had not slept for many days. He made an appointment with a doctor to be treated for insomnia. He turned up an hour late at the clinic. The doctor asked angrily,' Why are you an hour late for your appointment?'
Ram Lai replied:' I overslept.'